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  • Hali Kalju

Soul vs Ego: What’s the difference?

You may not realise but you possess two different aspects to your being. No, it doesn’t mean that you have a split personality. It just means that you are an amazing, unique, beautiful individual like the rest of us.


But what are these dual sides to you? They are your ego and your soul. Two very distinct parts of you, but together they are what makes you, you!


What’s the difference between these two and how do you know if you are being led more by one than the other?


I am me


When someone asks who you are, you can easily give them an answer:

I am Joe Brown/ I am Mary Smith

I work as an office manager/ I run a successful company

I am happy when I see people helping each other out/ I get angry when I don’t get what I want.

My ambition in life is to make a million dollars and retire early.


That is your ego talking. Your ego is the way your see yourself and how you allow others to see you. It’s the titles and the roles that you give yourself or allow others to put on you (and which you are willing to accept or reject).


It is the conscious, intellectual side of you with goals and desires that are based on the external world. Your ego is the part of you that seeks fame, fortune, acceptance and recognition from the world and the people around you.


When someone does something that upsets you, or if your pride gets knocked, then it’s your ego that reacts. You seek revenge. You feel hatred toward those who have wronged you.


Your emotions are dictated to by external circumstances and your expectations of what the world should be like and how the people around you should act.

Yet, with the soul, it’s a different story


Such oneness and beauty


Your soul is considered to be your spirit or true self. It is who you really are. That is, it’s your authentic self.


Your soul is what connects you to the universe and aligns you to the purposes and plans of the divine. Rather than seeking fame and recognition from others, the soul is motivated by identifying and connecting with the desires of the universe. It is these desires and plans that provide the soul with its identity.


The soul isn’t intellectually analytical like the ego is. The soul is guided by intuition and the decisions that are led by the soul are intuitive.


Emotions aren’t dictated to by what happens in the external world, but rather, as the soul seeks connection with the universe and achieves this, as well as connecting on a soul level to others, then one will find happiness and joy as a result of these connections.


The soul is inward looking rather than outward looking. It finds satisfaction within rather than having to get validation from the external world.


Is it my soul or my ego that’s in charge?



Now that you have an understanding of the difference between your soul and your ego, how do you know which one is currently in the driver’s seat of your life?


When you allow your ego to lead you you will find:


● Yourself constantly caught up in ruminations and negative emotions.

● The inner dialogue you have is focused on your fears, anxieties and worries.

● You place your self-worth on materialistic things and the need to be praised and accepted by those around you.

● There is a lack of self-love and self acceptance.


If your soul is in charge then you will:


● Have an intuitive feeling about things.

● Your self-love and self-worth aren’t attached to your goals/desires.

● You easily forgive others and accept them as imperfect. You aren’t judgemental.

● You have a profound sense of connectedness with the universe.

● Plans and goals seem to easily fall into place without much effort on you part (all because you have aligned yourself with the divine purpose for your life).


Conflicts can and will arise between your ego and your soul because both will want to seem to go in very different directions. How do you know when these conflicts arise? What are the symptoms of a divergence between these different aspects of your being?


If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, or dissatisfaction with your life at a fundamental level, then these are signs that you need to stop and take stock of what is going on. If you have a feeling that your life isn’t where it’s supposed to be or that you are off track, you need to reassess what’s going on.


Remember, your soul is the authentic self. It is the part of you that is in tune with the universe and its divine plans for you. When you are experiencing profound distress, then you need to listen to your heart.


If you feel you need to get more in tune with your soul and less in touch with your ego, but you don’t know how. Following are some ways to get to know your soul.


Some soul time


Maybe most of your life you have allowed yourself to be lead by your ego. Every decision you have made was determined by your ego and it’s conscious rationalisations. Yet, you have felt for a while that something is amiss in your life. There is a higher purpose that has been tugging at your heart, but you have ignored it.


That tugging is the universe’s way of giving you a “wake-up” call, but you don’t understand how to tune out the ego and tune in the soul.


Here are some ways that will let you get more in touch with your soul and your intuition:


Become still: So many times we pay attention to the noise in our minds, The thoughts are relentless and so are the emotions that they stir up. By practicing stillness (which means quieting the mind and tuning out the thoughts) you will find that you will be able to listen to your heart with greater clarity.

Meditation: Meditating allows you to focus more on what your soul is wanting to share with you. It doesn’t mean that you “empty your mind”, but rather that you create a peace within you from which the universe can reach out and guide you in a profound way.

Connect with nature: There is something amazing that happens when you spend time in nature. When you sit in a park, or in the forest and just listen to the sounds that surround you, you will find that you connect to the world in a deeper level. You will start to see things that you previously where blind to (for example, the way the leaves of the trees sway lazily in the breeze, or the dance of the birds as they fly past you).

Become authentic: Once you realise that you are wearing masks that disguised who you truly are, then you can start a journey of self-discovery and become the authentic person that your soul is wanting you to be. It doesn’t mean that you become some conceited, arrogant individual (that is a sign of the ego being in charge and not the soul). But maybe you will revise certain friendships and relationships that no longer serve you.


Go and be all the universe wants you to be!


As you become more attuned to the leading of your soul you will find that your life will transform in amazing ways. People and opportunities will seem to appear out of nowhere that confirm that you are on the right track with your life’s purposes, goals and desires.

When you stop serving your ego and start following your soul, then you will find that you are now truly living.

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